Loving God

It's always funny when God teaches you a lesson in the most unsuspecting ways. Like today. I was sitting in my 8 am class, Project Leadership, listening to my professor (who is way too awake at that hour) lecture on what a leader should/ought to be. One of his key expectations was that a leader should have "compassion." The definition he gave for compassion was "caring as much about others as yourself."

I started thinking about my relationship with God. Recently, as I've been questioning God about my dating life (or lack thereof really), I keep hearing him say "learn to love me first," and "you don't REALLY love me yet." Well what in the world does that mean? Of course I love God. I try to imagine going a day without interaction with him and it's impossible.

So I translated the definition my professor gave for compassion into a definition of what it meant to love God.  While I would say that I do love God, I don't know that I've reached the point of caring as much about him as I do myself. But thats an extremely difficult place to get to, I think. And I'm not sure what that will look like.

Maybe the first step is to look at the ways that I love myself. It sounds like an awkward and strange idea, but I really do think thats a good step. How do I show myself that I love and care about me? I bathe and go through all the upkeep my body needs (brushing my hair, teeth, etc), I exercise, I go to school, I hang out with family and friends who encourage and lift me up, I get involved in activities that make me happy, I allow myself to experience emotions, I eat, and when I go places, I bring all of me. This all sounds pretty trivial, but I think it's necessary to break it down a little.

Based on how I love me, how can I learn to love God? And keep in mind that God loves me infinitely more still! First, by taking "care" of God. Taking time to appreciate the beauty that he's created. Taking time to look at some of the intricacies of my surroundings. Educating myself through his Word and relating what I'm learning to daily life. Giving praise to God. Embracing and recognizing the different emotions he has for us. Bringing God with me wherever I go so we can live life together.

Like I said, funny how my project leadership class ended up teaching me how to love God. To really love God. It's a process, it's always a process. I don't believe that there will be a point where I can say, "Ok! I've reached REALLY loving you God!" But I do believe I have work to do, but not on my own. I'm learning to love God while I live life with God.