Toes on the Line

It has recently occurred to me that I live my life very much in the comfortable middle. I live in the safety zone, the neutral peace area.  I live in a place where it's easy to see all the extremes around me, and pretend like I'd enjoy being a part of them, but would really rather stay safe and sound in my own protected area.

It seems as though I shy away from anything to extreme. For example:

I hate spicy foods.
I hate being sweatily hot and I hate shivering cold (thats why Fall is a nice, middle season).
I hate pain on any scale. I shed tears at the doctors office today because I was pricked with a needle.
I hate scary movies and stick strictly to chick flicks, comedies and action films.
I never want to say anything that could possibly offend another party in any way, so many times I don't fully express my thoughts.

See what I mean?  The safety zone.

I think there should be a deeper, more philosophical meaning to all of this which is why I'm trying to blog my way through my thoughts.  Do I not take enough chances? In all honesty, I probably don't.  I think I prefer to watch other people stick their toes over the line than be the one that sets the alarm off. I always admire those that seem to fear nothing, I have a great friend who seems to fear nothing at all. She always tries to go through doors with caution signs reading "alarm will sound." She has a real thirst for living on the edge, and I wish I would push myself over there as well.  Deep down, I'm still the little girl in first grade who is terrified of getting in trouble with the teacher.  I don't test the waters nearly enough.

I take safe chances, ones with controllable risks.  Maybe thats why I like roller coasters so much; I get the thrill of taking a risk without anything really threatening likely to happen.  I want to change this.  I want to live more dangerously, but I don't want to live so just to say I've been chased by the cops before.  I want to live on the edge because I have a reason for doing so.  I imagine living on the edge would be something like staring the earth in the face and telling it that it in no way has final say over my life.

I kind of like that idea and I really want to push myself to not be so much of a scaredy-cat. Perhaps by letting go of so many of my petty fears and befriending more of the extremes, I will see and taste the world in more brilliant colors and zesty flavors.  I think I will stand in greater awe of God, which I'm desperately searching to do so.

The picture in my mind of what living dangerously and tasting so strongly is an infusion of so many wonderful things that I can't fully piece it together.  All I know is that I want to step out there, I want to walk to the edge and but my toes over the line.

Here's to doing dangerous things!