The Answer

Well, I asked God a lot about forgiveness yesterday, and I tell you what, he answered every single one of my questions and cleared up all my confusion. I absolutely love it when God does that.

As I stated yesterday, I had been struggling with forgiveness yet not wanting to be walked over. God spoke through our senior pastor today to deliver those answers to me.

In the current situation I'm in, I've realized that I've been seeking revenge (I'm not sure I'd quite use that word because it seems a little harsh, but essentially, that's what it is). I wanted this person to understand how I was feeling, to know that I was angry and upset. I tried manipulating ways of accomodating that justice that I felt should be served. The problem with this is that God is in charge of justice, not me. An important question to ask is if I'm willing to let God be God and trust justice to him, even if it takes years to be served, or am I going to play God and attempt to serve justice but end up feeling bitter, not better.  It is so easy to want to seek revenge in a quick and timely manner, but it is important to remember that A) that is not our business to give and B) God's timing is never ours.

This next point was most beneficial to me. After you have been wronged, forgive. Acknowledge what was done, how you feel and that yes, it does deserve punishment, but then hand the situation and all thoughts, feelings and emotions over to God and forgive them. Wait on God for justice. So it IS okay to point out how I feel, and that I don't just have to put on a happy face and pretend it never happened. But I must forgive them and no longer hold what was done against me, against them.

In relating this to my current situation, I have forgiven the wrong that has been done to me. Now I need to sit down with this person and ask forgiveness of myself for trying to manipulate revenge on them. Funny because for the longest time I've been believing that I alone am the victim, but now I see where I have indeed wronged them as well. I can't think of anything more humbling than going face to face before someone and seeking forgiveness.

I love those Sunday mornings where you KNOW God has laid out the sermon just for your ears to hear, and I am so thankful for the lesson I have learned today.