Pretending to Be Adults

I spent today much like I spent yesterday. I've been running around all over Nashville trying to find things that will make my apartment look like a place where some kind of an adult lives. It is absolutely frustrating! I went grocery shopping, rather, I attempted to. Never before did I realize it was possible to suck at such a seemingly easy task, but I assure you all, I royally sucked at it. I walked up and down the aisles looking at things that looked like they could be good, yet somehow I convinced myself I really didn't need to purchase that. Here's a rundown of what I actually bought:

Milk, Apples, Veggie Chips, Spaghetti, Sauce, Green Beans, Cheerios.

WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT?!?!!

I realized after I had left the store that, other than spaghetti, there are really no other meals I can make. Who knew one could fail so miserably at that. 

The funny thing is, before my terrible grocery trip, I was really excited to be able to go grocery shopping for myself; finally able to get what I want and for once, have a stocked pantry. Grocery shopping for myself, because I live in apartment now, because now I have to take care of all of that fancy stuff on my own... all of that really means...I'm kind of an adult. But after walking around in the grocery store, I felt smaller than an ant (I was, after all, surrounded by seasoned mother's who knew how to work those aisles). 

I think we all like the idea of being an adult. We like the idea of being on our own, having a career, buying our own food, coming up with new recipes, putting a deposit down on a house... and the list goes on. In theory, these things are great, I guess. Responsibility, taking care of things. Party on. After my experience today though, I realized that I'd much rather pretend to be an adult than actually BE one. I like the current situation of being an "adult" during the school year but then getting to come home and revert back to being a carefully cared for child. Pretend adult. 

I wonder how many actual adults out there wish they could go back to being a kid again, not having to worry about the world and it's consequences. I wonder how many just want to be held by their own parents when they have a cold. Who wouldn't want to be taken care of? 

All of this is really saying, "I'm scared." I'm scared of becoming an official adult, where I can no longer run home and be the child again. I like the idea of doing all those adult things, it sounds pretty cool. Yet, for some reason, when it all gets down to it, I'm just not sure I want to be a real adult. I'd much rather pretend.